Heroes of Mozzarella
by The Lone Shadow
Summary: The three heroes of this story, battle across time, space, and lemons, fighting the many forces of Gooddom, as well as fighting with the forces of awesomeness! Click to see just how messed up the adventure can be!


The Heroes of Mozzarella

By: Tony, Jeff & Chris

11:13:59 PM Tony says: Tony was walking through the woods one day, blissfully unaware that this would be the day of all days to rue...

He reached a fork in the path. One pointed left and said 'Bulding'. The other pointed right, and read 'lawl'. Tony decided to go...

11:16:19 PM Jeff says: ... down the 'lawl' path. There, he met a strange man who had many strange expressions who only identified himself as "Jeff-- Emporer of Pie and BBWs" or just "Jeff" for short. The two conversed a brief time and decided to travel together for a while. Sometime later they encountered a large gorilla with a supiriority complex who was blocking their path because it was sitting in the path-- typing on a laptop. Tony suggested throwing rocks at it, but Jeff said it would be better to go back around. They decided on...

11:18:32 PM Chris says: going back to the "building" path, and picking up said building, bringing it back, and batting the gorilla away with it. The two heroes did a victory dance, and then saw Chris, a guy who was just standing around. Joining their party, he was obviously the best, because he had a cool mustache. Soon, however, they heard angry shouting coming from down the road, which was...

11:20:30 PM Tony says: ... a million Chris/Jeff fans, thundering down the road in an angry mob, shouting things like "CHRIS SHOULD TOTLY DROP JEFF 4 TONY" and "JEFF NEEDS TO LOSE BOTH OF THOSE l00serz AND GO WITH THE GORILLA!" Tony, Chris, and Jeff looked at eachother, and nodded sagely. They stood in a circle, and thrusted a fist towards the center. The wind blew around them as they glowed brightly, and began...

11:23:42 PM Jeff says: SUPAH MUTATION! Chris became a reincarnation of Wily with armored lab coat included, Tony turned into a liger-mech named "Froyd" and Jeff turned into a walking raddish-- then the three fused together to become MadScientistBBWLoverChihuahuaMan! But the name was too long, so 4Kids turned it to "PieMan"! Using their super celestial powers they warped to a random point in space and time that was...

11:26:36 PM Chris says: The Eighties. There they went to an old timey arcade where everyone said funny things like "Radical" and "Stoked", and they got bored of that and played Donkey Kong. Since it was the 80s, they obviously soon ran into Bill Cosby, who was angrily ranting about Pokemon, agh agh agh agh, which caused a rip in the timestream and sent them into THE FUTURE! Then...

11:28:06 PM Tony says: ... Shadow came! But he was in the way, and was obliterated into a billion pieces of atom due to the light speed warp that the trio of heroes were in. They ended up in...

11:31:44 PM Jeff says: Bill Nye the Science Guy show! He explained the powers of science as Jeff (who for whatever reason was now his normal human self again) sat and watched the in-depth explanation of the effects of fire on kittens was displayed live, but Tony realized he needed to use the restroom (he too had returned to normal) and ran off to find the water closet. Chris had found a tank full of mecha-fish and played with them and a rubber chew toy he found lying next to the aquarium. He then accidentilly bumped it and the mecha-fish found their way into the plumbing system-- which then caused a chain reaction which shall remain nameless to cause Tony to come running out of the bathroom screaming full volume about "OHMYGODTHETOILETASPLODED!" and returned to his friends and frantically told the tale of a land conquered by evil robot fish. Jeff and Chris knew they had no time to delay, so they set off to a magical land called "Nebraska" and there they met...

11:35:12 PM Chris says: Dr. Light, the good scientist of justice. He explained to them that they were the world's strongest heroes and had to help him fight for everlasting peace, as also because they were bad enough dudes to rescue the president. The crisis Dr. Light needed help solving was...

11:37:49 PM Tony says: ... An invasion that had been carried out by the ever-so-nasty, ever-so-cunning... MARSHY! Tony and Chris looked -grim-. Jeff didn't, because he started thinking about how awesome s'mores were. Then he got to thinking about some 's'mores' of his own... To which Tony and Chris both smacked him upside the head. Returning their attention to Dr. Light, the scientist drew up a diagram to explain the plan, and the super-secret plan was...

11:41:18 PM Jeff says: THE UNHOLY DESTROYER OF OTHER PEOPLES' MARSHMALLOWS! Unfortunately, they didn't know where that was, or even what it was, or even the slightest indication of what signs would foretell of it. Jeff swung his hand around in the air, dismissing the notion and instead suggested that they go get something to eat. Chris and Tony then pummeled him into agreeing with their plan to instead find and round up any weapon or people who could be connected to THE UNHOLY DESTROYED OF OTHER PEOPLES' MARSHMALLOWS (which apparently always had to be screamed at the top of your lungs) and find a way to beat Marshy, rescue the President, the Princess and the peach (which apparently was Tony's lunch at one point) and break Soul Edge. The three agreed that Nebraska was not a good place to start so they decided to go to a place where clues might lie... which was...

11:43:24 PM Chris says: THE OCEAN!

11:44:52 PM Tony says: And so Jeff dived into the Ocean. However, he wasn't wearing any sort of suit or anything, so he nearly drowned instantaneously. Tony saved him by throwing a turkish delight in the water. Do not question the Delight. It is mysterious that way.

The three then hired someone to drive a submarine for them, who happened to be...

11:48:58 PM Jeff says: CAPTAIN MORGAN! With his vigilant Navy prowess and silver spice rum to take us down 20,000 leages under the sea! Then Chris had to explain to the good Cap'n that leages measure length-- not depth. Which meant they were pretty much lost. That's what they got, though, for trusting a man who smelled of rum and got his Navy medals from a pawn shop. With the cap'n unconscious in a pile of his own barf, the three males wondered how they intended to find clues down at the bottom of the ocean. They didn't even know which ocean they were in or how they overcame the geographic impossibilities of getting from Nebraska to the ocean while Nebraska is not sitting on the coast... but they ignored that. Then genius struck Tony as he pointed to a glimmering object lodged in a coral reef. After baiting Chris to swim out and get it, it became blaringly apparent that the undersea pressure made Chris' internal organs splatter out of his ears as he got the object and manages to return alive (the authors refuse to question this any further but...) the object turned out to be...

11:51:12 PM Chris says: ...something that the reader would have to find out about later. Staggering in pain, an angry Chris threw Tony into the torpedo bay and launched him out in rage. Then he presented the object, which was...

11:52:45 PM Tony says: ... Nothing. Tony managed to swipe the object before Chris fired him out like a torpedo. He struck the reef, and it exploded (IN AN EXPLOSION THAT COULD BE SEEN FROM SPAAAACE). The Submarine, and the PERFECTLY UNHARMED TONY, went flying into the sky, being dumped on a deserted island! Once he landed, and pulled himself out of the snow, Tony opened his hands to reveal that the object was...

11:56:43 PM Jeff says: ... a really, really shiny coin! Jeff then reasoned from their geographical region, their original location, the tragectory of the blast, and the tilt of the sun in relation to the equator that they were-- lost. Chris kicked Tony like a football across the the snowy isle while Jeff made a snow-BBW and dubbed her "Flurry". The then-battling Chris and Tony splattered her, so Jeff became angry and then hunted for food. With his bare hands, the shiny coin and some napalm that was on board the sub (we don't ask and you shouldn't either), Jeff killed fifteen penguins, a polar bear, some fish, an eskimo, and a squid. Jeff then fashioned the squid into a large great-sword like item and placed it into a makeshift sheath and placed it across his back and declared it "Piebert". Chris and Tony, who were still fighting, managed to stuff bits and pieces of fish and eskimo into their mouths in the downtime. Jeff then looked over at the ocean and pointed and yelled, "Look! There's something out there in the water! It's..."

12:00:12 AM Chris says: "Aqua Man, but you can call me -handesome-, guuuuy!" the robot interuppted. The evil Robot Master giddily approached, "I've been waiting for you! Dr. Wily requests you attend a formal meeting at his castle! Teehee! So, come on!" He gestured to a Wily Boat. Well, as they had no other way to get off the island, and since Chris thought Wily was awesome, he forced the other two to agree and they left. Then...

12:02:07 AM Tony says: ... Wily rammed into them with his own submarine, throwing the entire lot back onto the snowy beach. Wily hopped out, and laughed victoriously. "I've decided to hold the meeting HERE instead! Aquaman! Go talk to some fish, or something!" Wily walked over to our heroes, and grinned devilishly at them. "So... The subject for this meeting... is..."

He showed them a yellow envelope with a letter inside. "THIS. Which one of you wrote THIS!"

The letter inside read...

12:06:04 AM Jeff says: "You smell funny. --Anony". Tony and Jeff gazed at it with half-amusement and half-dismay, but Chris was indignant. "THIS IS BLASPHEMY! HOW DARE SOMEONE CALL WILY SMELLY!" Chris screamed in righteous fury. The three then agreed to help Wily find the writer of the letter and so they soon found themselves in Egypt. "Should I even ask about how this--" Tony started but Chris and Jeff replied in utter unison, "NO!". They were then attacked by AstroMan who then ran away when he saw they were actually there. "O...k...a...y..." Tony managed to whisper. Chris then chewed Tony and Jeff out for not having taken the mission as seriously as they should, so Jeff decided to rebuke him by raising Piebert the Squid into the air and declaring, "BY THIS HOLY BLADE I'LL FIND THE ONE WHO CALLED WILY FUNNY-SMELLING!" then he slammed it into an anvil and a rock. Later said squid/anvil/rock was moved to England and renamed "Excalibur" and some BS legend was made up surrounding it, but that was then and this is now. The three then moved across the country until they went into Cairo, whereupon they found...

12:09:25 AM Chris says: PHAROAHMAN, who pointed to a pyramid and said "The rennegade robots, Pencil Man, Typewriter Man, and Computerroom Man have conspired in there. I have a feeling one of them is our culprit. So they headed into the pyramid, only to see...

12:10:25 AM Tony says: ... Wily's missing building. The three stared in amazement, before they all entered the building. Inside the building...

12:12:36 AM Jeff says: ... they encountered the three robot masters that PharoahMan had warned them of. Tony took a rock and threw it at PencilMan, who easily knocked it off to the side. "OH GOD NO! OUR ULTIMATE POWER HAS FAILED US!" Chris sobbed as he fell to his knees. Jeff then placed his hands together "HA-DO-KEN!" he exclaimed, hurling his hands forward as an itty bitty ball emitted from his cupped hands. It disappated briefly after leaving his hands. Jeff, too, began crying. Tony then turned to try and run away but ran face-first into a wall and began to cry too. Then...

12:14:47 AM Chris says: DR. WILY ran in with Pharoahman, who used his blasty thing on them. They were incidentally weak against his weapon and blew up. However, now no one could determine who wrote the letter. Wily, though, grateful at the three for at least -trying-, gave them a saucer vehicle to get around in. So they took it to...

12:16:44 AM Tony says: ... Wal-Mart, which sports many things at low-low prices! Among the things, they found an item in stock that was known as THE UNHOLY DESTROYER OF OTHER PEOPLES' MARSHMALLOWS! There was only one left. The price? One golden coin! They all patted their pockets, trying to find it, before somebody else bought their item! Somebody like...

12:20:22 AM Jeff says: ... Bob the Pirate-Ninja-Cowboy-Cyborg-From-A-Parallel-Universe! Bob the Pirate-Ninja-Cowboy-Cyborg-From-A-Parallel-Universe had taken their coin while they were crying in Egypt, but now that he had gotten it, he bought the very last THE UNHOLY DESTROYER OF OTEHR PEOPLES' MARSHMALLOWS and ran off, laughing at them. The three decided to make chase and soon found themselves in Japan. There, they were stepped on by numerous giant robots and huge monsters and after a while of abuse, they pulled themselves together just long enough to save Japan from Dr. Wily's meteows (Told aptly by Doctor Light that "When you find that meteowh, you'ww find Doctah Wiwee..."). Then, in frustration they saw their culprit who was then...

12:21:43 AM Chris says: IN CHINA. They could barely see him across the sea, but there he was, so they got across to give chase! But then there was a proble, which was...

Tony says: ... A molehill! In the ocean. They all tripped and fell into it, falling (in water) to their supposed demise... But then they were saved by...

8/16/2006 3:51:06 PM Jeff says: VANILLA ICE AND HIS BAND! They dragged the team up from the oceanic depths and they arrived in China briefly after and gave them the powers of the "Ice, Ice Baby"-- whatever that meant. Well, the three wet, frustrated heroes ran after the Pirate-Ninja-Cowboy-From-A-Parallel-Universe hoping to get back THE UNHOLY DESTROYER OF OTHER PEOPLES' MARSHMALLOWS and save the world. Wait, there was a plot? Hm. Anyways, they ran into an old lady who taught them a mystical poem that was supposed to have magical powers: "Growin' up in a glass bowl, with chameleons, lizards and tadpoles, it hardly enters your mind that there's something better than this! Vitamin C in a carrot, maybe you'll see from a parrot! Believe me when I tell you that the words don't make us don't exist! PIZZA POWER!" Chris then turned to his friends to whine some more, "How come everytime some mystical old person shows up and begins talking in riddles? Why can't ANYBODY give us a straight answer already!" The old hag, quite upset, replied with, "FINE! Bob's in a pizza hut down the road," The three ran off before she sang anymore and there found...

8/16/2006 3:54:04 PM Chris says: The Pizza Hut! They ran in to discover that this hut was a trap! Bob the Pirate-Ninja-Cowboy-From-A-Parallel-Universe and his evil boss, the Shredder, laughed evily! This was a trick to lure our heroes to their doom! But then...

8/16/2006 3:56:20 PM Tony says: ... Bill Cosby showed up in a defense attorney's outfit, and declared the Pizza Hut to be a false impersonation of an evil madman's trap. He then started talking to the evil guys about Pokemon and Yellow Pudding. Meanwhile, our heroes were eating pizza, waiting for their... um... savior to, uh... finish, or something. However, while our heroes dined...

8/16/2006 3:59:58 PM Jeff says: The Shredder challenged them to a RAP BATTLE! So he began the battle with this lyric: "I hate music! I hate peace! I hate emo's and I hate cheese! Word to ya mothah!" Stunned and made afraid by the display of flagrant homosexuality, Tony retaliated, "Roses are red, violets are an off-shade of purple, so shut your mouth, or I'll beat you like Steve Urkel!" And the Shredder fled in terror, vowing vengence in next week's 30 minute episode and returned to Dimension X. Bob then esaped while Cosby laid on the floor, raving about how Tony was an idiot for mistakening "Yellow" or "Jell-o" so the three continued after him. Then...

8/16/2006 4:01:39 PM Chris says: They saw he left the DESTROYER OF OTHER PEOPLES MARSHMALLOWS! Chris picked it up and shouted "YAYZ" and then they walked back to Nevada. There, Dr. Light told them what to do next! This was, of course

8/16/2006 4:05:31 PM Tony says: "Good wowk! Now... Unweash the Mawwowbeam!" Just then, a beam of utmost goo and filth, the three were trappd up to their necks in steaming gooey yummy marshmallow! The Ghost of Marshy laughed wickedly as he floated down from the cieling. "You can't destroy meeeee!" He then ate up Dr. Light. He had to have a -light snack- after all. "I have no more use for that 'wacky wubbish'! Now, you three will witness as I TAKE OVER THE WORLD!"

8/16/2006 4:06:04 PM Tony says: As Marshy attended to computer stuff, Tony...

8/16/2006 4:08:52 PM Jeff says: fainted. Jeff began eating the sticky, yummy fate that surrounded them, and Chris tried to get out of the mess. Just as suddenly, a LifeVirus attacked Marshy's computer-- because it was a Macintosh and therefore prone to SUCKING. The LifeVirus began tap-dancing to a song from the '50's and Marshy screamed in frustration over electronics not working. Jeff managed to free an arm and helped Chris get on top of the -sticky- situation and suddenly Chris brandished a beam saber and attacked Marshy and...

8/16/2006 4:11:22 PM Chris says: ...purposely went past him and destroyed the computer! Marshie's powersource! This caused Marshie to disintigrate and Dr. Light to return unharmed. However, there was another problem, which the Doctor brought up...

8/16/2006 4:16:53 PM Tony says: ... and that problem was that HE WAS BROUGHT BACK. "You foows! How cawewess you awe to have bwought me back to this wowwd! Now, witness youw DEFEAT!" he brandished a toaster, and started firing poptarts at everyone! Tony piped up with, "I heard of breakfast on the go, but this is rediculous!", as he dodged the hot steamy goods. Chris abruptly tripped him and sent him rolling in Dr. Light's direction! The next thing that occurred was...

8/16/2006 4:20:37 PM Jeff says: Tony was shot with poptarts! "NOOOOOO!" Tony cried as he crashed into the mawshmewwow-ee goodness. Chris used his sword that he apparently pulled out of no where to cut the poptarts before they could reach him, and Jeff used his "Super Fist of DragonForce" to block them with varying degrees of awesome extreme-epic-power-metal. "We can't play defense! Not while Tony is doing all these terrible puns!" Chris exclaimed, "Suggestions?" Jeff grunted against the barbaric barrage of breakfast badness and then exclaimed, "We must use the Powers of the Ice-Ice Baby!" He then thrusted his fists forward and yelled, "ICE-ICE BABY!" and a gigantic robot came to their aid, named TikiMan and carried them up and away from the toaster's evil range. Then Doctor Light used the toaster by dipping it in water and throwing it at TikiMan causing him to...

8/16/2006 4:22:39 PM Chris says: EXPLODE! This sent our heroes flying off to the moooooooooooon! There they apparantly could breathe and walk in normal gravity. So they explored and found...

8/16/2006 4:24:58 PM Tony says: ... a whole lot of nothing. So now, they were stranded in the middle of a giant rock in space. They shrugged, and just sat down, making a campfire out of moonrocks and pieces of Tikiman. At least they were out of the firing range of Dr. Light. (Hopefully.) Sitting around the fire, they all cooked the poptarts that were fired at them, and shared stories of daring and bravado! But while they were telling their tales...

8/16/2006 4:28:02 PM Jeff says: Physics itself turned upside-down and hurdled them into a far-a-way land, in a world where monsters rule-- or something like that. Then they found themselves in the middle of a Medabot Robattle! "Oh snap crackle and pop!" Tony screamed in terror, "We're gonna be Metabee-bopped!" Chris growled, "NO MORE PUNS, YOU!" And Jeff pointed, "The Medabots are coming this way! Quick! Let's use Tony as a shield!" So Chris and Jeff did just that. Using Tony and his amazing resiliance to death, they used his soft, fleshy frame to stop bullets, missles, lasers, swords, tanks, atom bombs, normal bombs, hydrogen bombs, sub-atomic bunker busters, and dandelions. Then they entered Tony into a tournament, claiming his strange form made him a Medabot-- with a slight height advantage. Then they...

8/16/2006 4:32:47 PM Chris says: Sat and watched, leaving Tony to fend for himself! Tony was left in the stadium, ready to fight! Then the cotestant appeared, who was...

8/16/2006 4:41:23 PM Tony says: ... THAT DAMN FOURTH CHAOS EMERALD. Tony walked over to it, and buried it under the floor, somehow. He was declared the w1nn4r, and given a huge pizza trophy. The crowd cheered and cheered, and Chris and Jeff came to the w1nn4r's c1rcl3 to partake in the shower of praise. But then.. a timer appeared out of the ground, and the countdown on it reached 0! Then...

8/16/2006 4:44:45 PM Jeff says: it exploded! The blast sent the three reeling for miles on end and when they awoke they found themselves in Uganda! Where's Uganda? ... ahem Anyways! The three looked around at Uganda, made known only to them by a big sign poorly writting in Engrish that said "WERCOME 2 UGANDA, N3WBS!1!" They gazed at it in awe. "If..." Chris hesitated, "If they hand-wrote this, why did one of the exclaimation points end up being a one?" Tony paused before answering, "Maybe he was being careless?" Jeff chimed in, "Or someone with a weak grasp on the English language," They then walked through the terrain most commonly found in Uganda and they found a crazy catgirl with shining green hair who told them that a new problem faced all of Uganda and that was...

8/16/2006 4:50:51 PM Chris says: Their warring adversarry, Meganda, who was about to catapult a giant bomb into their country. The three nodded, and ran over to Meganda Palace to challenge King Gahaha, the evil ruler of the land. Once inside, a ninja appeared! Then...

8/16/2006 4:53:17 PM Tony says: ... He tripped and broke his neck. "Well," said Tony, "That was... a lot more graceful than I thought it would have been." Chris interjected, and yelled triumphantly, "Tony! Jeff! We must now move on to the REAL ENEMY at hand! King GAHAHA!" Just then, King Dedede fell from the ceiling. He stood up and said "That King Gahaha is trying to impersonate me! Do something!" So the trio...

8/16/2006 4:55:49 PM Jeff says: said, "IT'S MORPHIN' TIME!". Chris became the red afro disco ranger, Tony became the yellow rap ranger, and Jeff became the blue country ranger! Then they drew their arms (Chris had hair spray, Tony had major amounts of bling-bling, and Jeff had an acoustic guitar which he dubbed his "MIGHTY AXE!") and stormed into the King's chamber. There, they met a 95-year-old man, surrounded by playboy bunnies wielding katanas. Apparently, King Gahaha was not only rich and famous, he was also a ladies' man. The playboy bunnies drew their arms and...

8/16/2006 4:57:16 PM Chris says: The three critiqued them on their art. "ARMS DO NOT LOOK THAT WAY." They ran out crying. Then King Gahaha laughed at them. "TEE HEE HEE!" The three had a battle ahead, alright, then...

8/16/2006 4:58:46 PM Tony says: ... The three fell into a trapdoor, and broke their noses. At the same time. On the same rock. In the same area. ... Wearing the same clothes. While the three sobbed about their noses, Gahaha shut the trap door and left them in DARKNESS! Tony got up, turned on a flashlight, and saw...

8/16/2006 5:00:29 PM Jeff says: The Queen of Spiders, Spidra the Uninspired! She told them that for a human sacrifice, she'd get them out. As Chris was reaching for Tony's sorry pelt, Jeff offered that she could take King Gahaha if she got them out. She eagerly accepted this bargain, and carried them out on her arachnid lower half. Then they got back into the King's room and again took out their weapons but King Gahaha had planned for this turn of events and summoned forth Goemon Impact! Then...

8/16/2006 5:02:00 PM Chris says: "Yeah! WELL I SUMMON BOBOBO-BOBOBOBO!" And he appeared and dueld Impact to death. Then he won and said "HOLD IT, YOU GOTTA STOP THAT CATAPULT BOMB!" They left King Gahaha for dead and ran ahead...

8/16/2006 5:04:02 PM Tony says: ... But unfortunately for them all, they reached a labrynth of corridors and doorways. Luckily, Tony found the arrows that lead them to the right direction. However, they all came to a highway that was deep inside the palace. The road led into two different doorways, with no arrows to direct them. Two signs hung above these doors... One of the signs read 'This Way', while the other read 'That way'. Tony tilted his head, finding this oddly familiar. Chris took the lead, and decided to go...

8/16/2006 5:06:57 PM Jeff says: FORWARD! Into the wall. Tony then suggested they went "That Way", but Jeff disagreed, saying the wise choice was "That Way". Chris recomposed himself, and agreed that Jeff was an idiot, but Tony was a bigger idiot, so they went "That Way". There, they found a gigantic slingshot marked "CATAPULT" and they wondered for a moment how they'd stop such a contraption, so Tony opened a plothole and allowed the projectile bomb to be sucked into it. "That plothole is HUGE!" Chris gasped, "Are we doing that well already!" Jeff then smirked, "Heh. I lol'd," Then suddenly, from out of no where...

8/16/2006 5:08:54 PM Chris says: WAS A BUILDING! It fell on them. "WAHAHA!" Dr. Wily burst out of it. "This is the perfect place for my new building, and"- Megaman ran by and picked it up, "AUGH! MEGAMAN, THAT'S MYYYYYY BUILDING! GIVE IT BACK!" And he ran after him. The three got up and gave chase as well, as they owed Wily one for earlier. Then...

8/16/2006 5:11:24 PM Tony says: ... Megaman exploded. But, unfortunately, so did the Building. And then, Wily. While everyone was starting to explode, leaving the three heroes where they stood, Tony figured out the solution! "The bomb must've blown up inside the plothole, and it's ripping everyone from the dimension we stand in!" Chris and Jeff stood by and waved their hands back and forth in exasperation, both saying in unison, "Oi, oi, oi, that was -your- idea. Idiot."

But instead of exploding, the floor below our heroes began to crumble! What happened next was...

8/16/2006 5:13:24 PM Jeff says: they fall'd. And a big fall it was, too! A HUGE fall even! Along the way down, after they all tired of yelling Chris looked to Tony and said, "You're new name is Idiot, Idiot," Tony grinned weakly as they continued to fall for several more hours. Later, they all landed on an enormous matress that bounced them out of the universe they were in and into a strange, exotic junguru--err-- jungle. There, the three met...

8/16/2006 5:14:13 PM Tony says: ((janguru))

8/16/2006 5:14:48 PM Chris says: Jungle people. People in a jungle. In a village. With buildings. Made of straw or bamboo. Anyway, they walked around and saw crazy things, like...

8/16/2006 5:15:54 PM Tony says: ... Mario and Peach driving in go-karts! One man in particular was savagely yelling at the top of his lungs, chasing the two Karters around and around and around his house. The three looked at each other, shrugged, and began dancing to the techno game music that seemed to be playing in a radio from Mario's Kart. However, while they were all dancing like idiots...

8/16/2006 5:18:20 PM Jeff says: Tony-- or should I say, Idiot-- glanced over and saw a new robot master, BambooMan! He said "I'm BambooMan! Prepare to be bamboo-zled!". The three stopped right where they were-- Chris so much so that he was literally floating above the ground-- glared over at the idiotic robot master. The three then attacked with enormous buster cannon that appeared on their arms and blew him away. But then they found it was no use-- BambooMan was fine, and summoned his partner, KudzuMan who...

8/16/2006 5:19:36 PM Chris says: Fused together into GIANT ROBOT GOEMON IMPACT. AGAIN. So they fought him in their robot MECHA BUILDING MAN! Firing missiles, they realized they could defeat it by...

8/16/2006 5:22:28 PM Tony says: ... Turning the game off. So they did. The three finished their lunch at their awesome table, in their awesome mansion. When they finished their meal, Tony took a mallet to the weird-ass video game, and beat it to smithereens. Chris yelled "STOP!" However, Tony replied with, "It's hammer time!" Jeff said, "Well.. I'd say that third thing, but I forgot it." Chris and Tony sighed and shrugged. But then, an explosion rang out from their REALLY EXPENSIVE FIREPLACE, revealing...

8/16/2006 5:24:55 PM Jeff says: A SECRET PATH! So, Chris, Idiot and Jeff walked into it-- seeing as how these sorts of things are pretty much manditory. Chris was kicking Idiot in the butt as they walked down the path, as Jeff was holding a flash light he got from the mantle. Inside they found a gigantic tomb leading into an Egyptian-esque pyramid and they all found a mine cart they got into and rode down a roller coaster-like track. After some ups and downs they found...

8/16/2006 5:26:29 PM Chris says: A PYRAMID MADE OF GOOD. So they stole it and took it to the city and sold it for cash which they spent on another mansion on top of their other one. Then they went to that and flew it to space, then got bored of that and landed it in England. THEN...

8/16/2006 5:34:13 PM Tony says: ... Colonol Sanders welcomed them all! He started giving them a tour of his English town, Cock-A-Doodle-Dock, which was built right on top of a sea port! Tony, who is NO LONGER IDIOT, secretly ate some chickens that walked past him. While he was pilfering poultry...

8/16/2006 5:35:56 PM Jeff says: A gigantic chicken named Rocky fell from a rooftop and challenged Tony to a match, and dubbed him PERMANENTLY as "Idiot". Then they began boxing in the middle of a cobblestone street, whilst the denizens hurled English muffins at them. Chris and Jeff stood off to the side, amused by this sight. They then played Smash Bros whilst waiting for Rocky and the Idiot to finish... then...

8/16/2006 5:37:40 PM Chris says: Einstein appeared and explained, "Earlier, when zee idiot turned off a 'game' it was not implicating zat zee prior events were a work of fantasy. Simply put, he turned off a portable game system and the negative energy teleported you back to your mansion you always had. PROOF!" He showed them a newspaper that proved he defeated Marshie, Dr. Light, and King Gahaha. As Chris nodded sagely, he noticed that Tony was still fighting.

8/16/2006 5:39:55 PM Tony says: Tony prepared a super-smash move that cooked the chicken to a crisp! While he was finishing up, Einstein and the Colonol went out for a Pint at the local Pub. When Tony finally kicked the chicken's ass, he returned with another trophy. And an Oscar. He gave the trinkets to Jeff and Chris, bowing sagely. "The deed has been done, my Brothers." Suddenly...

8/16/2006 5:44:04 PM Jeff says: Chris dressed up in a black trenchcoat and started talking with overly punctuated sentences! "Now... I... am... so... awesome... and... fangirls... will... always... love... me!" He posed dramatically- his back facing a non-existent camera. "Oh no! He's become an anime stereotype!" Jeff exclaimed, "Idiot! Can you believe this!" He turned, but when he looked he saw Idiot with long, flowing locks and shiney blue eyes, "I'm a kawaii bishi meganekko, l0lz!" Idiot exclaimed. "Idiot! You too!" Jeff cried out, fearing for his sanity. Jeff ran for his life, his bishi and badass friends behind him as he screamed in terror, suddenly a train burst off the tracks and charged right after them! "OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!" Jeff cried out, suddenly dressed up as a badass old man like Harrison Ford in his prime, "NOT AGAIN!" Then, without warning...

8/16/2006 5:45:27 PM Chris says: The jungle from earlier fell from the sky!

8/16/2006 5:46:17 PM Tony says: And then, Eggman appeared, and punched the oncoming train, before leaping through the jungle, swinging from an uber-strong vine emitting a Tarzan yell!

8/16/2006 5:47:02 PM Jeff says: "OH MY GOOD PYRAMID!" Jeff exclaimed, as Chris reluctantly returned Idiot's lost internet. Then, they found the jungle village from before and a pink-haired girl named Guu and she... had an afro wig. And she danced saying "Cool and hip" and turned the jungle into a disco. This caused mass dance mania, and then...

8/17/2006 6:23:36 PM Tony says: ... Donuts started raining from the sky! As Tony ran around, catching some in his mouth, eclairs and kolaches began to fall as well. Some were even colored FUNKAAAY. Chris ate these Heavenly goodies with such care, so as not to mess his mustache up. Jeff started making Donutmans and Kolachegals. But suddenly, whilst they all celebrated the Bakery Rain...

8/17/2006 6:26:34 PM Jeff says: FROM THE SKY SUDDENLY STARTED DROPPING RICE BALLS! Just as suddenly, Brock from Pokemon arrived and began announcing "Man! I love donuts! Jelly filled are my favorite kind! NOTHING BEATS A JELLY FILLED DONUT!" whereupon he was beaten half to death by Chris's flaming fist of the riceball. Once the fireworks from that scuffle ended, the three turned their attention to a new arrival, a tall, blonde man in yellow baggy pants, elf shoes, a black shirt and a yellow overcoat, dawned all over with hearts. "WRYYYY, PUNKERS! I'M DIO BRANDO AND MY STAND IS ZA WARUDO!" then he stopped time and...

8/17/2006 6:29:20 PM Chris says: unstopped it again. "LET THAT BE A LESSON TO YOU. MESS WITH ME, AND I'LL STOP TIME. NOW. WHO IS THE LEADER OF THIS PLACE?" He asked, getting an answer by...

8/17/2006 6:30:34 PM Tony says: Sportacus, who leaped and jumped and flipped and winked down a flight of stairs conveniently placed in the jungle! The moment he landed, he proudly proclaimed, "I AM ZE LEADER, HO HO!" He then proceeded to pick up a nuke and hurl it at Dio Brando AT UNPREDICTABLE SPEEDS! But then...

8/17/2006 6:33:15 PM Jeff says: Dio punched it with THE WORLD! Guu then ate both of them as well as the atomic explosion resulting. Then Guu gave us the thumbs-up and said "Cool and hip-puu". Hare then proceeded to completely freak out "WHYAMITHEONLYONEWHOCANTELLTHATTHISISN'TNATURALINTHELEASTBIT! WHYYYYYYYYY!" Dio's head then popped up from Guu's mouth to say, "That's 'WRYYYYYYYYYY'!" before being swallowed back up again. Then Chris, Jeff and Idiot decided to...

8/17/2006 6:35:32 PM Chris says: go to Cold Land. It was a cold land of snow and ice. There they met penguins and finally an evil living igloo cyborg monster who rammed at them at full speed! Chris grabbed and threw Tony at the beast and then...

8/17/2006 6:37:17 PM Tony says: ... the beast ate Tony. Shame. Oh well. THAT'S WHAT CHRIS GETS FOR BEING MEAN TO TONY. That's when the cyborg monster started hurling Pencil Sharpeners at them all.. WITH THE PENCILS STILL STUCK IN THEM. The remaining two heroes...

8/17/2006 6:39:28 PM Jeff says: Jeff then summoned the MegaBuster to his arm and began firing pizzas at the pencil sharpeners and they suddenly exploded into flowering bushels of pies that gracefully floated down to the snow below. Chris complained that Jeff was abusing his dinner but Jeff shrugged of the notion and stopped the projectiles cold. (Or hot, as the pies may be). Chris then drew out clicky pen and assaulted the igloo cyborg monster and...

8/17/2006 6:40:30 PM Chris says: HURLED IT INTO SPACE! "RAAAH!" Then...

8/17/2006 6:40:53 PM Tony says: ... The space exploded. Leaving nothing but...

8/17/2006 6:43:52 PM Jeff says: a big ball of fungas. The fungas then continued to revolve around the void that Chris' assault left. "We're the only things left then, huh?" Jeff asked, with a mildly annoyed expression on his face. "Umm..." Tony paused, "Yep. Seems that way,". "That means one of us will have to have a sex change and repopu--" but Chris didn't get to finish his sentence before Jeff plunged a toilet scrubber into his left nostril. Tony then suggested that since nothing existed anymore, that they should just hang around and wait for the next big bang! "Great!" Jeff snipped, "That leaves us only... I dunno... a couple TRILLION TRILLION TRILLION years! That, and the whole 'being obliterated whilst the universe expands' thing will get us fine tans, won't it!" Then the next big bang happened thanks to the effort of some little German girl having played too much Katamari Damacy. Jeff, Tony and Chris then plummited down onto the new planet Earth and discovered...

8/17/2006 6:45:16 PM Chris says: It was ruled by Dr. Wily.

8/17/2006 6:46:59 PM Tony says: Tony immediately saw fit to try and pick up a building. However, Chris beat him to it, and started turning it into pizza. Wily came down in a fluster! How? Well... I suppose falling from the top canbe considered 'flustered'. Anyway, the moment he landed on Chris's head, he yelled "AUGH! CHRISMAN! THAT'S MYYY PIZZABUILDING! GIVE IT BACK!" When Jeff pointed out that Chris hadn't taken the building, Wily...

8/17/2006 6:48:45 PM Jeff says: Ate the pizza all for himself! "Now I win again! NOWZAWARUDOISMINE!" he then ran off, laughing maniacally. The three then decided they needed more females involved in this story, so they set off in hopes of finding the girls, blatantly ignoring any already unfufilled missions that lay behind them. Meanwhile, Soul Edge had just possessed a local variety of garden slug, and with SLUGGOR THE DESTROYER OF KITTENS using Soul Edge, the three would soon find greater trouble than before when suddenly...

8/17/2006 6:50:52 PM Chris says: Chris reminded them he already had a girlfriend, and would loyal to her. So though he accompanied them, he wasn't, of course, looking for other women. After this, he realize they were in battle! THEN...

8/17/2006 7:19:06 PM Tony says: Tony released Chris from the Pokeball! He dueled the almighty CORMCOCTION! The two battled face-to-face for -hours-, leaving Jeff and Tony to play solitaire and wait. However, the CORMCOCTION because tired, and Tony attempted to capture it! The results of this attempt were...

8/17/2006 7:19:21 PM Tony says: BECAME TIRED

8/17/2006 7:20:46 PM Jeff says: PHAILURE. Becuase Cormcoction then exploded randomly! And there was popcorm for everyone! Hurray! Then, after enjoying their snack, the three heroes left the scene and arrived the world of Shadow the Hedgehog! Then Chris went off on his usual tangents, but suddenly...

8/17/2006 7:24:01 PM Chris says: Shadow appeared and sang a whiney song.

"I'M SAD AND I'M MAD,

MY SINGING IS BAD,

I'M QUITE A CAD,

THOSE WITH MY GAME'VE BEEN HAD!"

Then he blew up in an explosion of angst.

8/24/2006 7:46:08 PM Tony says: That angst then started to eat up all of the skies, trying to take over! Linkin Park appeared and began crying, making up songs that didn't make sense. Chris and Tony were immune, but unfortunately, Jeff started to join the mosh pit with all the other ANGSTERS in da h00d. And then... 8/24/2006 7:48:07 PM Jeff says: DRAGONFORCE FELL FROM THE HEAVENS AND PURIFIED THAT ANGST-RIDDEN LAND WITH TOTALLY AWESOME EXTREME POWER METAL RIFFS! Jeff was instantly healed and give the totally awesome power of Herman Li's insanely long hair and a totally awesome guitar. Then DragonForce's aura of awesome re-arranged Linkin Park's molecular make-up and made them sorta-kinda hot girls and they ran away in fear of the awesomeness. Then DragonForce explained to the three heroes that Soul Edge and SLUGGOR THE DESTROYER OF KITTENS were threaetning all awesome music as they knew it and would try to get nu-metal and rap to become cool if they didn't do something soon!

8/24/2006 7:50:03 PM Chris says: Then a bunch of homies from Chris's floor showed up and rep-ruh-sented, forming a truce with our heroes- Rap would briefly work together to get rid of the emos, because let's face it, nobody likes them anyway. So then...

8/24/2006 7:51:39 PM Tony says: Tony shot the homies, because he hates rap. He sucked their guts through a straw, and spat it out at them again. And then he did it again. And again. And then he shoved Chris into the pile of... stuff for simply -suggesting- rap. He then suggested that they, instead, get the Techno Tykes. Jeff said in reply...

8/24/2006 7:53:27 PM Jeff says: "Dude, you have some serious issues to iron out. I know the name of a great psychiatrist and..." but was cut off when suddenly Chris rose from the unmentionables and shouted, "YOU KILL'D MAH DAWGS, FOO'! Yo, I be ridin' dirty, and I'z put a sidewaze cap in yo' foo' ass, dawg! Whassamaddawitchu?" Then Jeff pointed dramatically, "OBJECTION! Stop abusing my native tongue!" Then Tony...

8/24/2006 7:55:47 PM Chris says: stared. Then Chris said "IT'S TIME FOR THE SECRET WEAPON! IF THE DAWGS ARE NO GOOD, I'LL USE... CATS!" CATS appeared. "HOW BE YOU, GENTLEDAWGS."

8/24/2006 7:56:04 PM Tony says: Tony stared.

8/24/2006 7:58:18 PM Jeff says: "ALL YO' CRIBZ ARE BE BELONGIN' TO US, FOO' DAWG GANGSTA, YO!" CATS announced. Jeff gawked in the same mannor as a fish when deprived of water and Tony just about had heart failure but Chris beamed with pride. "DOSE FOO'S GOTZ NO CHANCE TO BE SURVIVIN', MAKE D'ERE TIME, YO!" CATS went on. "Excuse me, I need a barf bag," Tony groaned. Jeff paused a moment before saying, "Do we even NEED help defeating with the title "DESTROYER OF KITTENS"?" Chris then...

8/24/2006 8:00:53 PM Chris says: called on ANGRYMAN! to come defeat the badds. He was Wily's newest evil robot.

8/24/2006 8:04:47 PM Tony says: But suddenly, someone started applying HEADON to ANGRYMAN'S forhead, applying HEADON to ANGRYMAN'S forhead, applying HEADON to ANGRYMAN'S forhead, applying HEADON to ANGRYMAN'S forhead, applying HEADON to ANGRYMAN'S forhead, applying HEADON to ANGRYMAN'S forhead, applying HEADON to ANGRYMAN'S forhead, applying HEADON to ANGRYMAN'S forhead, applying HEADON to ANGRYMAN'S forhead, applying HEADON to ANGRYMAN'S forhead, applying HEADON to ANGRYMAN'S forhead, applying HEADON to ANGRYMAN'S forhead, applying HEADON to ANGRYMAN'S forhead, applying HEADON to ANGRYMAN'S forhead, applying HEADON to ANGRYMAN'S forhead, applying HEADON to ANGRYMAN'S forhead, applying HEADON to ANGRYMAN'S forhead, applying HEADON to ANGRYMAN'S forhead, applying HEADON to ANGRYMAN'S forhead, applying HEADON to ANGRYMAN'S forhead, and he died. Tony cheered the following chant;

8/24/2006 8:06:05 PM Jeff says: "I CAN'T SPELL "FOREHEAD" I CAN'T SPELL "FOREHEAD"!". ANGRYMAN! then exploded in a flurry of commercial products that never really explained what they did and some fire ant repellant. Jeff looked on in horror for a moment before uttering the words...

8/24/2006 8:06:49 PM Chris says: "THE OCEAN!"

8/24/2006 8:07:15 PM Tony says: The Ocean killed Chris. Then..

8/24/2006 8:08:27 PM Jeff says: REVIVED HIM FROM THE DEAD-- again? Well, Chris never 'died' so much as 'severly incapacitated'. Jeff then recommended they go find SLUGGOR THE DESTROYER OF KITTENS before Tony finds anymore useless commercials on and they set off to...

8/24/2006 8:08:58 PM Chris says: FIND HIM. AND THEY DID. "OH NO", SAID HE! THEN...

8/24/2006 8:09:39 PM Tony says: Tony turned him into a spear, and threw him into the furnace. "Apply THAT directly to your forehead, BITCH!" Everyone stared blankly, and...

8/24/2006 8:13:50 PM Jeff says: NIGHTSLUG emerged from the flame! It was a slug in a full suit of black platemail and an enormous greatsword with a "GOLD BOND POWDER" logo underneath a gigantic red eye. When the three heroes asked why that was there Nightslug explained that they needed more funding to maintain his armor, so he got a sponsor. He then quickly sang us a brief song "Gold Bond powder! You are a friend of mine! Gold Bond powder, you make my balls feel fine! Swampnuts bad and that's a fact! Keep me dry don't tear my sack, you're a golden breathmint for my balls!". Staring on in horror, Nightslug told the teenagers that he would then reveal THEIR WORST NIGHTMARES! Tony suddenly found himself surrounded by the Roman Legions, charging after him. Chris then found himself bound to an XBox and forced to play Shadow the Hedgehog over and over again endlessly. When Nightslug turned to look at the third member, he saw Jeff surrounded by women dressed as playboy bunnies (minus the fishnets) all weighing between 250-500 lbs a piece, with two of the innumberable plus-sized ladies rubbing Jeff's shoulders. "THAT'S NOT A NIGHTMARE!" Nightslug screamed angrilly. "Sure it is! Comparatively speaking to a worst-case scenario..." Jeff tried to explain it away before...

8/24/2006 8:15:54 PM Chris says: Chris built CHRISAMAN. Then he threw the Romans at Nightslug.

8/24/2006 8:16:26 PM Tony says: THEWY ALL TURNED INTO SPEARTACUSES, AND EXPLODED DESTROYING a cubic inch. Unimpressed, Nightslug revealed...

8/24/2006 8:19:38 PM Jeff says: ... an ADORABLE KITTEN! "Anyone moves the kitten gets it!" Nightslug announced. Chris and Tony as well as CHRISAMAN froze in place, and Jeff was inser--hit--asserting himself among the BBW-bunniesm, totally ignoring the current situation. Chris then Soul Unisoned with ShadowMan and became-- a PIMP! He used his amazing Pimp mating call/dance to throw Nightslug into a fit of confusion and terror before making Tony vow to write longer parts of the story and in turn promising to do the same with his new Pimp cane powers and then...

8/24/2006 8:21:06 PM Chris says: SHISHKABOBBED SOME CHICKENS. Then they all had lunch and Nightslug worked out his differences. Then Chris went back to normal and they decided to leave Shadow land. BUT THERE WAS PROBLEMS...

8/24/2006 8:22:00 PM Tony says: ... Because the kitten was still standing there. Tony moved it, and in turn, he got it! He named the kitten Tim, and they gained a new valuable party member! After they danced victoriously...

8/24/2006 8:24:24 PM Jeff says: until they were viciously attacked by MEGATRON and the DECEPTICONS! They called the heroes out to battle, but Jeff was... occupied... so Chris and Tony alongside their new valuable teammates Tim and CHRISAMAN (who had just been remodeled into a litter box for Tim) stood up to the evil invading robots and prepared for the battle! They waged a long, grueling battle for many hours where many nameless extras were killed and Chris and Tony pretended to give a care. Suddenly Tim spewed molten magma across the DECEPTICONS and chased them away. Then suddenly...

8/24/2006 8:26:32 PM Chris says: THE TRUTHICOM CAME. "HI, GUYS, WHAT'S THIS THREAD." Then!

8/24/2006 8:34:46 PM Tony says: The LIEIECOM come over and says "HE'S FIBBING. : " Tony started lamenting about his parents whom he'd never known, because all this time, he figured he just appeared out of nowhere.. And then...

8/24/2006 8:37:05 PM Jeff says: Chris then tired of the computers, so he shattered them with his will. Then he turned to Tony and asked, "Okay, how about we LEAVE the whiny angsty universe?". Tony shrugged, "I'd love to, but the laws of random videogame/anime transportation insists that our entire party must be together at any given time in order for us to traverse time and space as we know it, and frankly, I'm not even going to TRY to get Jeff until I'm 100 certain he has his pants on,". Chris paused, "How about 80 and five bucks?". Tony angrilly shook his head, but then Jeff returned, with a blue towel wrapped about his waist, a monocle and a bubble-pipe as he returned to his friends and said...

8/24/2006 8:38:18 PM Chris says: "I think I'm gonna live here now." He went back.

8/24/2006 8:39:07 PM Tony says: Tony glared at Chris, and stated "Now, you go get him back here, RIGHT NOW, Mister!" Tim meowed in agreement, spewing out smoke from his eyes. Chris just... stood there, and opened his mouth to...

8/24/2006 8:39:38 PM Chris says: Say "AAAAH, THE CAT'S BRAIN IS ON FIRE."

8/24/2006 8:43:28 PM Jeff says: belch. After that, Tim became frustrated and tackled Chris and began beating him like the Rocky movies (slow motion, shimmering lights, spit flying everywhere, the whole nine yards) as Chris yelled, "HELP ME! MY PUSSY'S GONE CRAZY!" And finally, Tony convinced Tim to stop attacking Chris and the three sat down to make a plan as to how to drag Jeff's sorry hide back to them so they could continue their nonsensical quest. Tony suggested a murderous rampage but Chris adamantly disagreed, openly admitting that he wouldn't harm anything that was innocent and had two "X" chromosomes. Then Tim piped up, "No, no, dear sirs, I believe you both are assessing the situation quite improperly. It may be true that you need your comrade in order to aid with the instantenous transmission from universe to universe, but you must convince him, not force him-- that way it'll be a mutual, easy transmission from here to where ever it is we need to head to next!"

8/24/2006 8:46:19 PM Chris says: So, Chris approached into the area Jeff was, and tried to reason with him. "This world is no good and I wanna go hooooooome!"

8/24/2006 8:49:26 PM Tony says: However, Jeff was doing many... things with his... bunnies, and Chris had unwittingly stumbled unto the ritual. He turned tail and ran as fast as he could, before the whole Nine Yards football team tackled him into the ground. Tim hopped off of Tony's shoulders and ran over to Chris, shouting...

8/24/2006 8:53:07 PM Jeff says: "Old Bein'! Are you quite all right!". "Yeah," Chris groaned, as the movie cast dispersed from the scene, allowing Chris to return to his feet, "Actually, being tackled like that made my lower back pains go away,". "Now what do we do?" Tony wondered aloud. "I believe 'zat I might have ah reasonable solution!" Suddenly, Lord Wily from MegaMan Battle Network appeared! At this point, MMBN6 must've already happened because he was quite friendly and formal, "If we were to turn za harem into a BattleChip for da' boy, he would still be able to accompany you and keep his many ladyfriends in tow. Now, zat would be a decent agreement, ja?". Chris, not stopping to question the accent exclaimed, "Right! Let's do it!" So, after a few more hours went by and many games of rock-paper-scissors were lost, Tony went around to Jeff's personal hotel and finally relayed the plan through a thin wall rather than enter the room. Jeff agreed and all 387 plus-sized bunny-gals were placed into a battle chip and Jeff rejoined the party. Lord Wily then...

8/24/2006 8:56:50 PM Jeff says: 3876

8/24/2006 8:57:06 PM Chris says: decided to travel with them for awhile. "I must return to my home planet, Nintendu 64. In your world, on the other edge of the universe!" THEN...

8/24/2006 9:00:17 PM Tony says: Tony smacked Chris upside the head. When Chris asked why, Tony glared forward. "Don't know! Just had to!" Tim rolled his eyes, and sat on Tony's shoulder again. MEANWHILE, Lord Wily and Jeff were discussing the fundamentals of Good Pyramids. When Suddenly..

8/24/2006 9:01:33 PM Jeff says: The Shadow the Hedgehog world, now freed from its angst and emo-ness, exploded. The blast made the five-member team plummit into a new world. There, they met four, humanoid turtles each with a different color mask and ninjitsu weapon. They introduced themselves as Leonardo, Michelangelo, Donatello and Raphael. There they decided to...

8/24/2006 9:03:36 PM Chris says: Defeat the Shredder who lived in a big old Japanese building on a skyscraper.

8/24/2006 9:05:03 PM Tony says: Tony questioned the liability of a Japanese Building on a bulding. He turned to CHRIS for an answer!

8/24/2006 9:07:19 PM Jeff says: Chris then said, "A pagoda is the general term in the English language for a tiered tower with multiple eaves common in China, Japan, Korea, Nepal and other parts of Asia. Most pagodas were built to have a religious function, most commonly Buddhist, and were often located in or near temples. This term may refer to other religious structures in some countries. In Thailand, "pagoda" usually means the same as stupa while in Vietnam, "pagoda" is a more generic term referring to a place of worship. The modern pagoda is an evolution of the Indian stupa, a tomb-like structure where sacred relics could be kept safe and venerated. The architectural structure of the stupa has spread across Asia, taking on many diverse forms as details specific to different regions are incorporated into the overall design. It was spread to China and the Asian region by Araniko, a Nepali architect in the early 13th century for Kublai Khan. --Wikipedia". Then he pointed to a pagoda sitting atop a large sky scraper. Jeff gazed in awe as Wily, Tim and Tony as well as the Ninja Turtles applauded.

8/24/2006 9:08:35 PM Chris says: Then Dr. Wily, the bad Dr. Wily who makes robots, appeared. He fell to the roof and he and Lord Wily had a lightsaber duel.

8/24/2006 9:09:44 PM Tony says: Megaman then appeared, and tried to take it. Richard Simmons and Carrot Top tripped him, though, and began to do an Irish jig, much to the dismay of everyone except Richard Simmons and Carrot Top. Tony, gawking at the battle above, pointing up at it and said...!

8/24/2006 9:12:02 PM Jeff says: "OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!" he was then parted by a random spam artist girl. Chris, Jeff and Tim fled with the Turtles inside the pagoda, in hopes of finding Shredder. They then rushed into a room filled with ninjas! Ninjas with POINTY OBJECTS! They made short work of the ninjas and found enormous crates! Chris theorized it might be counterfeit money, and Tim suggested it might be illegal drugs, but it turned out to be the entire building's worth of tighty-whities. Meanwhile, the Two Wily's were successful in killing both Richard Simmons and Carrot Top and MegaMan began taking the pagoda away whilst the two doctors continued their struggle. Then...

8/27/2006 7:38:41 PM Tony says: 8/24/2006 8:08:35 PM Chris says: Then Dr. Wily, the bad Dr. Wily who makes robots, appeared. He fell to the roof and he and Lord Wily had a lightsaber duel.

8/24/2006 8:09:43 PM Tony says: Megaman then appeared, and tried to take it. Richard Simmons and Carrot Top tripped him, though, and began to do an Irish jig, much to the dismay of everyone except Richard Simmons and Carrot Top. Tony, gawking at the battle above, pointing up at it and said...!

8/24/2006 8:12:01 PM Jeff says: "OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!" he was then parted by a random spam artist girl. Chris, Jeff and Tim fled with the Turtles inside the pagoda, in hopes of finding Shredder. They then rushed into a room filled with ninjas! Ninjas with POINTY OBJECTS! They made short work of the ninjas and found enormous crates! Chris theorized it might be counterfeit money, and Tim suggested it might be illegal drugs, but it turned out to be the entire building's worth of tighty-whities. Meanwhile, the Two Wily's were successful in killing both Richard Simmons and Carrot Top and MegaMan began taking the pagoda away whilst the two doctors continued their struggle. Then...

8/27/2006 7:40:59 PM Chris says: Tim drank some tea and played a game of croquet atop the roof's five star golf course, before hopping into his hovercraft and flying over the left side of the road. THEY CHASED AFTER MEGAMAN AT SUPER SPEED! Both doctors somehow ended up on the wing of the craft, and kept fighting. Then...

8/27/2006 7:44:20 PM Tony says: ... Tony, riding inside, spotted the Wily's fighting outside on top of the wing. He then began to freak out because nobody could see what was going on on top of that wing, and everyone thought he was crazy. So did the scary clown across the aisle from him, sipping tea. Tim decided to have a little fun, and began to do FLIPS, TRICKS, AND EXPLOSIONS! What happened next was anyones' guess, because...

8/27/2006 7:47:44 PM Jeff says: RELIENT K SHOWED UP! They began singing for us, giving us incredible powers and we began rocking our way through the pagoda up until we reached the room with the Shredder, dressed in bunny pajamas! Then-- Jeff had to use the bathroom but the others then...

8/27/2006 7:50:05 PM Chris says: THREW SAID BATHROOM AT SHREDDER! It knocked the Utron controlling him out of his suit. Tony ran up and kicked it. Bad move, because it was kicked into the SUPER INVINCIBLE DEATH MACHINE SUPER SHREDDER MK. II. THEN...

8/27/2006 7:51:24 PM Tony says: Jeff walked up, and plucked a tiny little metal plate out of the leg. This resulted in the ULTRA-COLLAPSE of the SUPER INVINCIBLE DEATH MACHINE SUPPER SHREDDER MK II. Everyone laughed at Ultron's folley. To which Ultron responded...

8/27/2006 7:53:34 PM Jeff says: "IT'S UTROM! NOT UTRON, YOU ILLITERATE MONKEYS!". Then Jeff stumbled out of the bathroom, dizzied and stunned and fell to the floor, having just gotten his pants back on. "Man, he is just full of pants jokes, isn't he?" Chris quipped. Then the Utrom, Cha'rell (Shredder, as we know him) mounted into another mech, this one of a ninja-pirate-cowboy named "Redbeard Billy Heppokomaru" and...

8/27/2006 7:56:00 PM Chris says: Then he fired a bulletswordninja star at us. But everyone dodged. THEN HE GOT MAD AND DID A BARREL ROLL! So they ran up the wall and threw the ceiling at him, and then got thrust into space and had a super battle. Then they ran out of gas and fell back to the building. Shredder fell in the middle of the battle between Wilys and got sliced and diced to SHREDS. AHAHAHAHA. ...Then...!

8/27/2006 7:58:26 PM Tony says: Tony fell over laughing his ass off, because of Chris's most -horrid- pun in the WORLD. Then Chris starts beating him up. Jeff had to stop them ubruptly, because in the NIGHT SKY ABOVE THEM...!

8/27/2006 8:01:38 PM Jeff says: TURNED INTO A NEGATIVE! Because of Tony saying the magic words (THE WORLD)-- time stopped, except for him and the Shredder's adoptive daughter, Karai. Tony and Karai then suddenly developed Stand powers, and Tony battled using his stand "Yellow Submarine" which can punch rapidly and make delicious pasta, whilst Karai had "Surprise Buttsecks 4chan Powah" which could dance the macarena. The two wrassle'd like there was no tomorrow, until time resumed and Chris and Jeff PWN'D both of them. Then...

8/27/2006 8:03:15 PM Chris says: Out of the yellow submarine stepped Bobobo-Bobobobo. He threw the building into space. Then...

8/27/2006 8:04:02 PM Tony says: Planes with rich pigs all over them flew around, arresting people for eating ham sandwiches whilst it was May the 5th. And then, they spotted jeff. THAT WAS THEIR NEXT TARGET! They all ZOOMED DOWN, and...!

8/27/2006 8:05:14 PM Jeff says: Were parried down by Jeff's awesome karate powers! He kicked planes into Karai, blowing her up on impact. Then, the three turned back to check on the Turtles (who had used mysterious anime-esque ninja powahs to vanish at this point) so they then watched the lightsaber duel. Which was awesome. Then...

8/27/2006 8:06:07 PM Chris says: Good Wily kicked bad Wily off the building into the negative zone. Then he said "Off to Nintendu 64!" And then...

8/27/2006 8:07:03 PM Tony says: A N64 Remote controlled car crashed into Good Wily, causing plague, distraction, and peanuts to scatter throughout the world!

8/27/2006 8:08:17 PM Jeff says: Then, Michael J. Foxx showed up in a totally awesome TIME CAR! He invited us in and took us-- TO DA PAST-- whereupon we found vikings, ninjas, dinosaurs and... Harrison Ford as a young man. Mr. Ford then told us...

8/27/2006 8:09:02 PM Chris says: To go to the ocean.

8/27/2006 8:09:29 PM Tony says: But before they could go, Megaman came by and picked up the ocean, stealing it to the Himalayas.

8/27/2006 8:11:33 PM Jeff says: In the mountains, the heroes cursed their rotten luck as they trudged through the terrain. Then, a large alien overlord captured them and subjected them to a 36-day movie-a-thon with no intermission or snacks about the life cycle of the jellyfish. The three almost lost their minds, until they got to the part about the jellyfish' natural enemy the...

8/27/2006 8:15:47 PM Chris says: spinach. So Chris ate some spinach and then propeller-punched Xenu into to Mexico. And since he was high on spinach power, he ran after him and kicked him to the moon. Xenu and Lillith then had many wars over the moon and Chris was stuck in Mexico because his powers wore off.

8/27/2006 8:17:24 PM Tony says: Tony and Jeff were stuck in the SPACESHIP on the Himalayas, and decided to take control of the spaceship to get to Chris in Mexico! However, after they lifted off, the GALACTIC FEDERATION'S LOYAL POLICE UNIT swooped out of the sky and GAVE CHASE! Their eventual destination? PANAMA, TEEGEEACK.

8/27/2006 8:19:34 PM Jeff says: Tony then got a serious contact high with some local forms of fungas, as the aliens tried to impede their progress by dropping hydrogen bombs into nearby volcanoes. Again. and Again. and Again. Well, Jeff left Tony to his own devices uttering only the word "Idiot" and moved on. He then found himself in Maine. Tony then sobered up and realized he was alone. He was abducted by the aliens and they...

8/27/2006 8:21:25 PM Chris says: worshipped him as a mythical ridiculous leader. But in doing so, they quickly began heading back to their planet to crown him king of the Idiotrons. Tony objected, but they did not understand. Then...

8/27/2006 8:21:50 PM Tony says: everythign BAH'd, the end

8/27/2006 8:23:28 PM Jeff says: Just kidding! Anyways, the Idiotrons had only a vague grasp on the humans' languages, so as Tony tried to justify his stance as not being an Idiot, they offered him great amounts of wealth, food and women-- if only he would become their king. Tony felt very tempted but knew what the implications would be if he accepted, so he decided to jump into aciton like BATMAN! He BAP'D, ZOCK'D, ZOW'D and BIFFOW'D his way to the airlock. Then he was jettisoned through space like a comet and crashed in Korea. There he...

8/27/2006 8:24:57 PM Chris says: He landed on the border and so both countries fought over him because they thought he was the legendary alien sighted in the past. Then...

8/27/2006 8:25:36 PM Tony says: Tony went SUPA MUTATION and transformed into toast, that exploded and sent Korea into ANOTHER DIMENSION. Tony the Toast waddled over to Japan, where he...

8/27/2006 8:28:41 PM Jeff says: realized that he had not only been there once before, but that he had lost Tim! (Unbeknownst to our heroes, Tim had been dubbed the new King of England, and had left the team). But Tony-Toasty then met the fuedal lord of DA PAST Japan, and he explained (in the best Japanese he knew, which was something to the tune of "Watashi wa bishi meganekko baka daimyo mitsubishi samurai riceball-san!") and was promptly put in prison. "WHAT I SAY!" Tony objected, having returned to his human form by that time (Everyone knows SUPA MUTATION only lasts three minutes). In the prison, he was forced to watch episodes of Inu-Yasha day in and day out, so he quickly formulated a plan to escape which was...

8/27/2006 8:30:09 PM Chris says: his cellmate, Macguyver, made a key out of dust. So they escaped. MEANWHILE, Chris...

8/27/2006 8:33:45 PM Tony says: ... Was busy casting as Wile E. Coyote, because he got to use awesome Acme weapons. However, once the Roadrunner passed through, Chris used his rockets not to chase the RR, he used it to FLY TO AUSTRALIAAAA, which actually worked, because he wasn't attacking the good guy of the show. While he was over the GODDAMN OCEAN...

8/27/2006 8:37:09 PM Jeff says: He ran into the airplane of Sonic the Hedgehog, Miles "Tails" Prower, and Princess Sally! They crashed into Sydney, Australia and broke out into a musical number "What are we waiting for? I'm supersonic forever to the core!". Chris screamed bloody murder and ran through the city streets waving his arms around, "BLOODY MURDER! BLOODY MURDER!". Then he ended up stumbling into Dr. Robotnik's secret base on a bridge somewhere. "Oh, shiiiiii--" Chris began, but was interrupted as Robbie Rotten began singing alongside of the AoStH Robotnik, "It's good to be bad! It's keen to be so mean! Yes, we're just extra-ordinary nastiness machines!". Chris gawked in half-fear, half-admiration. Meanwhile, Jeff...

8/27/2006 8:49:25 PM Chris says: Decided to reuinite their group! So he hosted a TV announcement all across every channel to find them. But this made the entire world mad, so Jeff was run out of town by a mob carrying sticks. But Tony and Chris saw the announcement...

8/27/2006 8:50:26 PM Tony says: And they were both shot in the FACE by another angry mob, because they were mentioned in the broadcast. That was when the Pink Pather saved Tony, and the Blue Aardvaark saved Chris! They SPRINTED across the GODDAMN OCEAN and headed for Maine!

8/27/2006 8:52:15 PM Jeff says: But Chris and Tony hadn't realized that Jeff was chased down to Louisiana! Chris and Tony re-united somewhere in Germany and got lost, because a random evil overlord living in a houseboat on the GODDAMN OCEAN gave them poor directions. They found themselves in the "MEIN KAMPFY FURNATURE SHTORE" and even more lost. Then they met a cricket. The cricket then...

8/27/2006 8:58:36 PM Chris says: Told them that Jeff could be used to make a time machine to go back to the future, for only he had the idea! So they ran over to teh US and rna around until they spotted Jeff, chilling out in a Time Machine Store. "Jeff! We must find a way to build a time machine to go back to our own time!" said Chris.

8/27/2006 9:00:25 PM Tony says: Jeff turned to Chris, and said, "Why, for you, baby? -Anytime-..." And he slowly began to make his way towards Chris, who was SEVERELY creeped out by this... Until Tony stopped Jeff and took off the SEVERE SHADES that he was wearing. Upon noticing that he was hitting on CHRIS, he abruptly apologized. And then ran when Chris was flinging KAMPFY CHAIRS at him. While they bickered, Hitler began putting together the Time Machine, when all of a sudden...

8/27/2006 9:02:58 PM Jeff says: TIME EXPLODED! It hurled ours heroes into a time warp from which it was semi-unlikely that they might not return from it! First, they landed in 65,000,000 BC! There, they met a hot blonde cave woman (cuz we all know, like the makers of Chrono Trigger, that cavepeople had excellent hygenic habits) and she taught them to plant corn and fish to make fishcorn bushes. Chris insisted that that was very nice, they needed to be going. Ayla then punched Tony in the face-- which back then was apparently a sign of endearment-- and told us she might could help by...

8/27/2006 9:05:46 PM Chris says: inventing fire. As she was just about to, the king of cavemen, Ayla's dad, saw the event, and determined that Ayla and Tony must be married. Tony was seized and carried to be put into a cave tuxedo, and a ceremony began...

8/27/2006 9:06:39 PM Tony says: But it couldn't, because Tony immediately escaped, and dragged the rest of the trio into a time hole. Once they jumped in, they were cast into...!

8/27/2006 9:11:31 PM Jeff says: THE ERA OF VIKINGS! There, they met three vikings working together on a small sail boat, named Larry, Moe, and Curly. They told the three boys that by using flint and wood, they made entire fleets of wooden ships. Then they were attacked by the Bismarck and went back to the drawing board, having their fleet sunk by guns that shot deer out of them. Then the vikins brought them back to their village, Stooge, and...

8/27/2006 9:12:40 PM Chris says: Captain Curly was overthrown by Shemp. ONOS. This caused the dark ages.

8/27/2006 9:14:34 PM Tony says: However, this was misinterpreted as 'Shrimp', and it created the CRAB AGES, which brought about the REVISED SONY JAPANESE HISTORY.

8/27/2006 9:15:38 PM Jeff says: Then they were attacked by a GIANT ENEMY CRAB! Chris, Jeff and Tony picked up horses, rabbits and toads respectively and attacked its weakpoints for MASSIVE DAMAGE! Then, they ate it. This brought on the next age the Era of things dipped in butter sauce which led to...

8/27/2006 9:22:42 PM Chris says: COMPUTER ROOM! Vector ruled the earth with a scaly claw. And shouted random lines at people as they passed by.

8/27/2006 9:32:14 PM Tony says: However, a rogue lightsaber careened across the sky and sliced off Vector's scaly claw.

8/27/2006 9:33:18 PM Jeff says: But then, Vector died. THEN! The heroes were spontaneously hurled into the Enlightenment era! During which, they were scattered across Europe. Chris was in Britain, Tony was in France and Jeff was in Greece! Dun-dun-duuuuun. And then--

8/27/2006 9:39:38 PM Jeff says: Yeah, I did. So what? It's Chris' turn.

8:04:43 PM Tony says: 8/27/2006 8:15:41 PM Jeff says: Then they were attacked by a GIANT ENEMY CRAB! Chris, Jeff and Tony picked up horses, rabbits and toads respectively and attacked its weakpoints for MASSIVE DAMAGE! Then, they ate it. This brought on the next age the Era of things dipped in butter sauce which led to...

8/27/2006 8:22:45 PM Chris says: COMPUTER ROOM! Vector ruled the earth with a scaly claw. And shouted random lines at people as they passed by.

8/27/2006 8:32:17 PM Tony says: However, a rogue lightsaber careened across the sky and sliced off Vector's scaly claw.

8/27/2006 8:33:21 PM Jeff says: But then, Vector died. THEN! The heroes were spontaneously hurled into the Enlightenment era! During which, they were scattered across Europe. Chris was in Britain, Tony was in France and Jeff was in Greece! Dun-dun-duuuuun. And then--

8:22:01 PM Chris says: Eggman appeared and hit Tony with a tree.

8:22:57 PM Tony says: When hit with the tree, Tony pointed out to Eggmna how, um, attractive it was, and Eggman ran off after it, with Sanji heart-eyes. Tony got up, dusted himself off, and said...

8:24:58 PM Jeff says: "OH MY GOD!" as a girl came after him who tried to part him like she did her last boyfriend. Tony took off running until he arrived in Germany. After assessing what time period he was in, he realized Germany had only recently unifed as a nation, which would place him sometime in the late 1800's. A tuetonic knight began chasing Tony around with his claymore yelling "ICH FIND ES NICHT GUT! ICH FIND ES NICHT GUT!" and Tony ran around the country screaming like a little girl. Meanwhile, in Greece, Jeff...

8:26:00 PM Chris says: Could hear Tony. So he ran to Germany.

8:27:08 PM Tony says: The moment Jeff got there, he grabbed Tony and ran into the ground. But that didn't work, because the ground is solid, LIKE A ROCK. As the two paining heroes watched a Chevrolet drive by, they wondered where Chris was...

8:28:41 PM Jeff says: Jeff and Tony set off and later ended up in Praug after hitchhiking a ride on the Chevy. Meanwhile, Chris, now very-well familiar with the British country side, swam across the sea to mainland Europe, then swam across the Mediterranean Sea and ventured deep into the heart of Africa. Then...

8:30:29 PM Chris says: He found Egypt. And Pharoahman again. But this was in the past, so he and Dr. Wily didn't know him, and they threw giant pyramids of gold at him. He ran off thinking -WOW, HISTORY ISN'T MAKING SENSE-, and then ran so far south that he ended up back in Europe in a few seconds. He saw them and said "We have to fix time and stop the present and past from merging" then...

8:31:50 PM Tony says: RONALD REAGAN stood in front of our Heroes, and blocked the pyramids of gold that were flying all the way from Egypt withn his BULLET PROOF CHEST. Then he turned to our Heroes and said 'What idiots!', before grabbed the pyramids, and TWISTING them into pieces. he then flew into the air as Xena tried to get away with Jaywalking. The heroes looked at eachother, mouths agape.

8:32:14 PM Tony says: Xenu

8:34:39 PM Jeff says: Jeff suddenly got into a RANDOM NETBATTLE! "Jack in! Lil'Jeff.exe! Execute!" And a little 8-bit, pixelated version of Jeff appeared in TEH INTARWEBZ and battled against BumCloudMan to the death, where the ancient INTARWEBZ discovered 4chan and blew up. "Holy poop on a stick!" Tony exclaimed, "What was that all about?" Jeff sighed, "I just really wanted to do a Battle Network parody...". They then scurried to Spain so they could get a boat to America-- where they first were transported to the past. Then...

8:35:22 PM Chris says: THEY TRAVELLED ACROSS THE OCEAN

8:35:37 PM Tony says: Then Blue Laser attempted to BLOW UP THE O

8:35:40 PM Tony says: OOOH NO YOU DONT

8:37:08 PM Jeff says: Eggman and Blue Laser got into a huge battle in mid-sea. The three then took advantage of the distracted seamen (Hee-hee-hee... seamen) and took one of the Spanish fleet's ships and made a quick travel across the GODDAMN OCEAN to the United States. Once there, they decided they'd need to find a way back to present and so they decided to..

8:39:37 PM Chris says: Get Bobobo to help.

8:40:32 PM Tony says: Bobobo declined, however, because he was busy lawyering.

8:42:11 PM Jeff says: Don Patch, on the other hand, was more than eager to help! He punched Chris so hard in the face that it blew him into DA FUTAH! And by the impact, Chris grabbed a hold of Tony and Jeff's shirts and dragged them both with him. However, when they crash landed, rather than being in the present, they were actually in DA FUTAH! There were flying cars, aliens, and lightsabers. And then...

8:44:56 PM Chris says: And then they decided to take over the wold

8:51:39 PM Tony says: How over, they landed in Russia, so the wold took over -them-.

8:52:57 PM Jeff says: The Russians said "IN SOVIET RUSSIA, WOLD TAKES OVER YOU!" Then the three were enslaved to an evil woman-- Dia Branda-- user of the Sit named "ZA WOLDO". Then, they decided to throw a coup and...

8:53:31 PM Chris says: Broadcast Cing Coupa's Cool Cartoons.

8:55:13 PM Tony says: But right before Tony fried a chicken coup.

8:55:54 PM Jeff says: Then, for his horrible pun, Dia dropped a bulldozer on Tony and screeced, "KREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

9:10:30 PM Chris says: Then Dr. Wily came to the future and turned it into a giant building, and Batman got away, hey.

9:11:25 PM Tony says: Then the pie started falling.

9:12:49 PM Jeff says: Then Jeff decided that they had to find their way out of Russia before the end of the story, so he whipped out his sole battlechip! "Lovely Harem!" Jeff announced, pushing it into his PET and the BBW-bunny gals returned as a force to be reckoned with and wiped out the ruling Czar of the time. During the scuffle, Jeff grabbed some of his favrites and he, the 5 he grabbed, Tony and Chris made a break for...

9:13:52 PM Chris says: Mexico. There Tony got into a bullfight with Godzilla and Chris snuck away to Canada.

9:14:59 PM Tony says: But the earth opened a black hole in the center, and the entire Earth scrunched up together. bringing Mexico, Russia, and Canada close together, starting the grand nation of Mexirussanada.

9:16:41 PM Jeff says: Jeff went to Texas with his five ladies, but due to polygamy laws, had to finally pick one and parted with the rest--who then became a super-elite squadron in the military's Delta Forces. Jeff then set out on his own to become the next member of DragonForce. As for Chris...

9:19:23 PM Chris says: Chris married Van and lived happily ever after. college movie ending montage Tony went insane and thought he was in an alternate past future dimension world. Jeff and his chosen mate lived the exciting life of travelling rockstars. Wily in the future ruled over a mighty building. His robot masters were forced to do manual labor forever. Battle Network Wily made it home to his planet and relaxed. Dr. Light is still behind bars, and his cohort Marshie is presumed defeated. Everyone else got unimportantly forgotten and will probably appear again in the sequel. END TEH!


End file.
